There's always someone worse off than you!

Áður en ég sofna á kvöldin hef ég stundum lesið í einni af mínum uppáhaldsbókum. The Book of Losers eftir Ben Wicks. Hann hefur safnað saman sögum af lúserum hvaðanæva að úr heiminum og gaf þær út í þessari bók. Ég ætla að sýna ykkur nokkur dæmi um þetta sérstaka fólk.

Úr kaflanum Losers In Love
Antonio Laina of Naples, Italy, awoke one morning to find his wife removing his nost with a pair of scissors. “She was jealous,” explained Antonio to the hospital surgeons who stitched his nose back onto his face.

Úr kaflanum Women Have More to Lose Than Men
I am engaged to a wonderful man, but lately he has been very moody and is always hitting me. He says it is nothing to what I shall get after marriage, and must get used to being kept under control. Please advise me; I want to marry him, but don’t know how to handle the situation.

I am twenty-nine and single; I neither dring nor smoke. I do not seem to be able to overcome the sex impulse. Is this due to catarrh, and will a diet of vegetables and salads help to abate it?

Women in Ugley, England have changed the name of their community organization name from Ugley Women’s Institute to the Women’s Institute (Ugley Division).

Úr kaflanum Sport
A Brazilian was fishing on the banks of Rio Negro when his line became snagged in a tree. As he tried to free it, a swarm of wild bees flew out of the tree and attacked him. The man escaped by running into the river, where he was eaten by a school of piranha.

Úr kaflanum Some Losers Have A Medical Problem
George Schwenk of Los Angeles was treated for five days at a local medical centre for an eye infection and then received a bill for $317 – for the delivery of a baby. “Please correct this error,” Schwenk wrote plaintively, “or at least send me my baby.”

A London physician was once heard to say, “We operated just in time. Another two days and he would have recovered without us.”

A British schoolboy was unable to remove a vase that had become stuck on his head, and was subsequently rushed to the hospital in a city bus. In order to normalize his appearance in front of the other passengers, tha boy’s mother placed his school cap on top of the vase.

Og svo, úr kaflanum Loser’s Jobs
One hour after beginning a new job which involved moving a pile of bricks from the top of a two-storey house to the ground, a construction worker in Peterborough, Ontario, suffered an accident which hospitalized him. He was instructed by his employer to fill out an accident report. It read: “Thinking I could save time, I rigged a beam with a pulley at the top of the house, and a rope leading to the ground. I tied an empty barrel on one end of the rope, pulled it to the top of the house, and then fastened the other end of the rope to a tree. Going up to the top of the house, I filled the barrel with bricks. Then I went down and unfastened the rope to let the barrel down. Unfortunately, the barrel of bricks was now heavier than I, and before I kew what whas happening, the barrel jerked me up in the air. I hung on to the rope, and halfway up I met the barrel coming down, receiving a severe blow on the left shoulder. I then continued on up to the top, banging my head on the beam and jamming my fingers in the pulley. When the barrel hit the ground, the bottom burst, spilling the bricks. As I was now heavier than the barrel, I started down at high speed. Halfway down, I met the barrel coming up, receiving several cuts and then contusions from the sharp edges of the bricks. At this point, I must have become confused, because I let go of the rope. The barrel came down, striking me on the head, and I woke up in the hospital. I respectfully request sick leave.”

tack tack

--Drekafluga, með engri ábyrgð á innsláttarvillum--